Some More Truth about Disabilities and God

My circumstances do not dictate my relationship with God. I love the verses in Daniel, where three friends are faced with death by fire. They tell the king that they know God has the power to bring them out and spare them from certain horrific death… and then they say, “But even if he doesn’t…” Even if he doesn’t, I will still praise the Lord. I will still honor and obey him. I will still believe that he is good and he loves me. It is hard to explain to some people that I don’t think God is going to “heal me” in this life, because then I sound like I have no faith or I have given up. But that isn’t the case. I know he is able to, but I don’t think he wants to. I believe this is the truth, and it does not make me angry or discouraged because my devotion to the Lord is not based on my strength or weakness. Whether I walk or whether I sit, whether I live independently or whether I must depend on others more and more as I get older, I will serve the Lord. Isn’t this a louder and more powerful witness than making my faith in him contingent on whether or not he “heals me”? 

The greatest and most eternal miracle is the work Jesus has done in our hearts. If God healed my muscles, took away this disease, and strengthened me physically, one day I would still grow old, get weak again, and possibly need a wheelchair again. This body is temporary, and will eventually fade and die. But the spirit is eternal… and the greatest miracle Jesus ever performed was the work he did on the cross, to cover my sin and make a way for me to have access and relationship with the Father. He healed my heart, restored my soul, and gave me a new spirit… and when I die, it will live on for eternity with my Lord.

God can receive glory through the lives of those who are “imperfect” or “broken.” The saddest thing I have been told regarding my disability is this: “God wants to heal you so people will know his power and he can get the glory.” Can he not accomplish this even if I am in a wheelchair? In fact, in some ways I think he can get more glory through my weakness, because any strength that is demonstrated in my life can only ever be attributed to him. God chose the weak things of this world to shame the strong.... the things that are not, to nullify the things that are, so that no one can boast before him. Louis Giglio would say my disability is God’s megaphone, through which he can amplify his message of hope and joy and peace to others. I pray that people will see and know his power in a mighty way, and that he will receive all the glory, whether I stand up or sit down.

There are more important things to look forward to than physical healing. This is something Joni Eareckson Tada has taught me over the years, through her life and ministry. I do not want to waste my life chasing after selfish ambition – which is how I see it if I relentlessly insist that God “heal” me even after he has said no. I want to spend my time and energy on sharing the gospel with people so they can know Jesus too… because the thing I look forward to the most is heaven. Heaven is where I will walk, true. But heaven is also where I will never make another stupid decision, I will never have any more regrets, I will never hurt someone again. Heaven is where relationships will flourish the way they were meant to – without tension, jealousy, distrust, insecurity, or geographical or chronological distance. Heaven is where there will be no more tears, no more exhaustion, no more “burn out.” Heaven is where we will be with Jesus forever – directly in his presence, without fault and with the greatest joy imaginable. With heaven in my view, how could I desire anything else?

Some Truth about disabilities and God

- God will do what he wants, and he does not need to explain, apologize, or get our permission to do so. It sounds harsh, but it is so true, and because it is true it can be a comfort. His ways are not my ways, and his thoughts are higher than mine. He does not need to give me reasons why my muscles are weak; he knows the reasons and will accomplish his will through it. I am so thankful that God is God and doesn’t need me to direct or manage him or hold him accountable. He is always good, and I can always trust him.

- Prayer and faith are not a guarenteed recipe for us to get what we want. Another hard truth. Donald Miller has said that there is no formula for how to come to Jesus, and if you think you have discovered one, you don’t really know Jesus at all. I get tired of hearing people say, “Just pray! Just have faith!” I do! I do pray, and I do have faith that I hope has grown a little bigger than a mustard seed… but in praying, I have heard God assure me of the purpose he has for my life in this chair. In cultivating faith, I have learned to trust him even when I don’t understand, and to have joy even in suffering. If anything, prayer and faith have brought me to a place of contentment and peace in this gift (yes, I just called it a gift) God has given me.

- I have been healed. Does that shock any of you? If it does, my parents can give testimony to its truth. I have been in the hospital many times, my life in the balance, and God chose each and every time to save me and restore my health and strength. The doctors have been amazed more than once by remarkable – miraculous - recoveries. Don’t overlook the fact that my life has been spared over and over again.

- One day I will walk. Another shocker? Well, I have this promise that in heaven, there will be no more pain or sickness. I don’t even think I will have the weight of gravity to hold me back – I will walk and jump and run and dance and surf (hey, why not?) better than anyone on earth ever could, in my brand new, god-like perfect body! Why desire to settle for anything less in a mortal body?

- Sometimes, the things we think are important or necessary are not the same things that God considers important or necessary. I see this in the story in Acts 3 of the man at Solomon’s Colonade, who had been crippled since birth, and all he was asking for was money. In his case, God did not consider money to be his problem – his weakness was. In my life, I don’t think God sees my disability as the main problem, or physical healing as the main solution. If I waste my life begging for my muscles to be strong, I will completely miss out on the ways he does want to bless me.